Pakistani Wedding

I attended a wedding last Saturday in California's central valley of the brother of my daughter's boyfriend. It looked to be a traditional Pakistani wedding, but of course, without any frame of reference I have no way of knowing.

What I do know, is that it was a wondrous affair. Many of the guests were decked out in traditional clothing. The women wore colorful flowing skirts and tops, with a wrap flowing over the shoulder and draped over the forearms, some with brightly colored stitching adorned with beads and crystals. Some of the women had painted their hands and feet in intricate designs with henna. The bride was exceptionally beautiful, in a beaded red dress that touched the ground and matching headdress dangling a jewel on her forehead. I was told the dress was very heavy, and it looked like it was.

Many of the men wore suits and ties, but there were some in their long flowing shirts and loose fitting pants. A few of the men wore a type of turban, but I never asked about their significance.

The back yard of the host was professionally lit with colored lights, the sound system played traditional and non-traditional music (read Bollywood), and the bride and groom sat all night long on an ornate couch placed on a stage with a backdrop of colorful cloth and wrapping. I don't believe they even got a plate of food that night as the guests filed by and sat with them on the couch getting their picture taken with the newlyweds.

I was told beforehand that to the Pakistani people, the single most important part of any party is the food, and it did not disappoint. It was a catered affair with tray after tray of dishes and hors d' hovres. I didn't know what many of the dishes were, even labeled, but it didn't stop me from trying every dish. I also couldn't stop drinking their sweet lassi, a concoction of sweetened yogurt that went down very easily.

To be honest, I felt slightly out of place as one of the few caucasions among hundreds of beautiful brown "desi" people, but it was only due to my lack of cultural exposure, my "lilly white" upbringing. At no time did I feel any hint of animosity from the guests. In fact, the host family are a most welcoming and loving group of people. And anyway, it was good for me to feel a little out of place. I can't begin to know how these brown skinned middle Easterners cope as a minority in this (post 9/11) country. As a matter of fact, If I could, I would apologize on behalf of America for any bigotry and racism they have or will encounter. All through the ceremony, I couldn't help thinking that it's only our ignorance of this culture that leads to bigotry. Every American should have been there that night. Of course though, our host Asar would have needed much more food.